Bridge of Earn

Well, it's a rainy Saturday in May and like the weather I'm not feeling very spring-like. We are so disillusioned with going-out-for-lunch that we're staying in today to sample our own dodgy cooking.

Rewind to December 2008: it's a dark dank Wednesday afternoon and I'm suffering from a broken coccyx (don't ask). My sister's just accompanied me to casualty and is driving me home (I've brought my own cushion). To say thank you I suggest I take her to lunch at the farm shop/cafe outside Bridge of Earn.

"Been there before - not exactly gourmet dining but it's cheap and cheerful."
"Och, the very dab."

So, the car park's practically underwater but undeterred we park up, empty the damp dog and dump him in the boot. We head on in, oblivious to his howling, looking forward to our lunch.

We take a seat and are handed a menu. Quel surprise, it's changed since the last time I was in. And the prices have gone up. Good start. However, I am cheered up by the prospect of an all-day veggie breakfast with a twist - added fruit pudding! Well, we've never experienced this before so we both decide to go for it. The waitress takes our order (grumpily - I mean, I know it's not the most thrilling job in the world but can't you just pretend not to despise the customers for the 30 seconds it takes to take their order?). After she's gone I notice my cutlery and crockery is a bit grubby so I call her back to ask for replacements. She's so grumpy about it that I can't face calling her over again when the replacements are also dirty.

So, it's not shaping up well and to make matters worse my bum is killing me. But at least there's only a few other customers in and we don't have to wait long for our breakfasts. When they come they look suspiciously small and lacking....fruit pudding! So it's missing the one ingredient that we ordered it for. Brilliant. The waitress has disappeared and we're too scared by this point to complain anyway. So, we tuck in, and it has to be said it's pretty tasty but WAY TOO SMALL - gone in about 160 seconds.

Following our dessert (a couple of Christmas choccy-coated truffles which look like sausage meat on the inside and taste very strange indeed) I go up to the counter to pay.

"So - what happened to our fruit pudding?"
"Oh, we've changed suppliers and have just discovered that the new one isn't vegetarian."
"Right. Maybe somebody could have mentioned that when we ordered it, since it was our main reason for ordering it? And maybe the cook could have given us extra mushrooms or hash browns or something to make up for the fact that the plate was half empty cos it was missing it's main ingredient?"
"Yes, we'll have to rethink that..."

Yes, you bloody well will. And did I get charged the full whack? Yes, I bloody well did. I shuffle out in an even worse mood than when I shuffled in.

I've not been back.

FUFF x