Arses

Well it's been a while. Months in fact. Christmas is a distant memory (thank the lord), Valentine's Day came and went without me and him bothering our arse to be remotely romantic as per. Not too many shit meals though, I'm pleased to report (possibly because most of them were home-cooked - once we were home from work rarely could we contemplate going out again into those sub zero temps).



However, I have once again felt moved to report on the out and out utter bollocksness of selected eateries in the Glasgow area. Take a bow The Arches. Closed for 3 months while the train lines above were sellotaped back together, I lived in hope that the once cool hangout would re-open with a flourish and some new decor, a new menu and above all, new kitchen staff. Alas, no. The only improvement was the touching-up of the grey paint on the way to the toilets.



So, Dear The Arches - A few points to consider:

• You have the rudest staff I've encountered probably EVER (interestingly, they were all male. Make of that what you will). Besides giving us the pure evils for daring to exist one of them actually walked away when I was in the middle of a sentence (quite a crucial one, being the ordering of the food bit). This possibly explained why half the toppings on my pizza were missing.


• Your menu is pish for non-carnivores. This is 2010 you know. Hence the ordering of the pizza since there was precious little else of interest.


• Your pizza sucks. Bitter base and tasteless sauce (although it might have been better had it come with the full quota of toppings).


• Your kitchen staff think it's ok to bring out one diner's order about 25 minutes before the rest of the table's. And then chuck it at the table from about a foot away.

So there we have it. Next time we're in the area we'll be going to Sloane's.

FUFF x